#warning #emotional #weekone #justpublished

I usually feel a lot of emotion, I am just a sensitive person but tonight was a doozy. I have such a heavy heart from watching Long Island Medium. I see people on that show, as well as have friends and family that have endured such pain that one could never even fathom. Losing a child, mother, best friend, sister, brother, uncle, jeesh. It's just all a very overwhelming feeling the vulnerability of us all. My friend Riley lost her sister last year. I remember having lunch with her and she was telling me how her sister was pregnant at the same time as me. Just knowing that her daughters are with out their mother and Riley with out her big sister just is heart wrenching really. I have lost grandparents, uncles, aunts and loved ones but to feel the lost of a sibling, mother, or child would be unbearable.If only shedding tears resulted into shedding pounds. I think I cried the whole two hours.

I'm starving. My diet is going well, I lost 2 lbs so far. I'm happy with that for the first week. If I keep that up in 15 weeks, I will have lost 30 lbs. I am aiming to lose more each week in order to win! I started working out every day and I stopped drinking pop. I really need to focus on eating better and I'm sure it will come off. I can't stop eating chocolate and I have a feeling if I did I would be much happier with the results :)

I wish I would have known myself  more long ago. It's not I have much regret it but I feel weird saying this but sometimes it feels like I'm not being as true to my self as I could be. Do I feel exposed? Vulnerable? In so many different ways. I just need to stop wondering and know the choices I make are the right ones. I'm not sure why I seek so much validation in my life, I'm always second guessing myself. I guess I just take comfort in knowing others opinion of me are positive ones. Most times it just inspires me to achieve my goals but other times hinders my ability to move on. That probably only makes sense to me.

Music helps a lot though. And just knowing that everyone is human and they make the choices they do because of the lenses of experiences they have faced or not faced. I feel like a lot of times I have the answer but I am so torn up and letting it take my energy but sometimes the energy makes for something amazing but other times it just makes me insecure.

Week 3

I lost 4 lbs last week! Personal best :) That makes 8 lbs total. It is just what I needed to keep me going eating healthy and exercising even though it's my birthday week! :) I started level 2 for Jillian Michaels and I think that's what did the trick. She literally makes you want to die. I can't imagine what level three will be like. I couldn't find the link to level 2 on youtube so I got crafty and finally found it on Chinese youtube. (youku) Sorry Jillian, not sure if you would be mad or proud :)

Last week Carter gave me a sticker and he said this one is for exercising and another one for being the best mom ever. Aww. If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is! I have so many others to thank for my fitness kick - my family, friends and the No Excuses facebook group for sure! The desire to be healthier is contagious and so is positivity.

I won't be sad if next week I don't lose anything. That's how excited I am about the four pounds. It's my birthday, cha cha cha! :)

Week 2

I lost another 2 lbs! Slow and steady will hopefully win the race :) That is 4 lbs so far. I have been doing the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred level 1 while listening to Pandora and it seems to keep me motivated on working out! I am also hoping that I gained a little muscle too so it would have been more!

All week I ate salads for lunch with light dressing and tried to keep in moderation everything else. If you could see my fitness pal meals you would see that I am a chocoholic lately. I can't resist them! I did resist some work cookies and donuts so that's a start. Working at my job and dieting is also another challenge in itself. Someone is always making or bringing treats in! I guess it's just practice for Halloween coming up! Can't wait to take my little trick or treaters out! Carter is being a Crocodile and Katelyn is being a pumpkin!

Yesterday I took my kiddos to see my mom and my friend Carie and I worked out and then weighed in! My sister, and niece stopped by too so there were lots of laughs and hugs to go around. There's just something about being around family and friends who are like family that make everything amazing! At night I watched a chick flick and listened to girly music. Being a mom and a girlfriend there aren't many days that I get that much girl time in! It's just good for the soul!

Carter is planting his orange seeds in hopes that a tree grows there. He is drowning that poor little seed though with cup after cup of water. But it is entertaining them while I write so what the heck.

My birthday is in 9 days! Halloween in 11 days! My birthday party is in 13 days! Pink in 24 days! Katelyn's birthday is in 34 days! Lots of celebrating coming up! :)

Week 1

I lost 2 lbs in week one! I am so happy with those results because that's the best way to lose weight and keep it off. I may have to kick it in high gear though in order to win the contest! I have had so much help, tips and support from my family and friends and I couldn't be more thankful.

The changes I have made are: Quit drinking soda pop, drink 8 or more cups of water each day eat smaller meals, and move more!

I didn't have the will power to make myself go on walks daily so I decided to do the 30 day Jillian Michael's shred challenge! It has been kicking my butt! I couldn't move for the first day but it has gotten easier each time. I have heard that I will lose more inches than lbs doing this but I want to keep my muscles too as I try to shed weight. 27 minutes of torture but it feels good after it's done! Thank goodness for the internet - where you can find anything!

I have been logging in my meals and exercise daily with myfitnesspal! It's so easy because it calculates everything for you and you don't have to guess how many calories something may be.

The hardest part is giving up sweets! I know you can have a few but that is not me. All or nothing :) So I have been avoiding the office sweets and trying to eat my apple!

Someone busier than you is working out right now.

Breakfast, Carter to preschool, go to work, and then it's home, supper, baths, bedtime and if I don't fall asleep putting the kids to sleep then it's catch up on reality TV, pick up the house, and do it all over again. When am I going to work out????

Have you heard of the quote "someone busier than you is working out right now?" I try to remind myself that when my list of excuses pop in my mind..

In order to motivate myself I have started a fun little contest within my family - participants pitch in $15 and who ever loses the most weight after 15 weeks wins the pool! Right now it is at $215 and growing. Who doesn't want to win money AND lose weight? Sorry to break it to them, I'm totally going to win but not with out some changes at first.

Today I heard in a meeting if you have more than 3 goals, your success rate falls 50%. Crazy.
So my three goals are:

• Drink less pop, more water. 
• Move more
• Eat smaller portions / "cleaner" food

That should do the trick. I have lost weight effortlessly just once before but I feel like it's going to be a huge challenge with my schedule. I wonder if I just took them to the park every day that would be my exercise and they would love it too. The best kind of exercise is when you don't realize you're doing it, like playing tag with the kids.

I hope to document my little journey on my blog, hopefully better than I stick to menu planning. But since you already know what I do each and every day, you will know why if I don't. 

Menu Plan Monday 7/29/13

Monday

• Cereal
• Turkey sandwiches w/ chips
• Pork w/ white noodles

Tuesday

• Egg sandwiches w/ hash browns
• Hotdogs
• Brisket sandwiches 

Wednesday

• Cereal
• Brisket Sandwiches
• Cheese Pizza 

Thursday

• Cereal 
• Leftover Pizza 
• Spaghetti 

Friday

• Cereal 
•  Turkey Sandwiches 
• Out to eat

We had a great weekend, enjoying the weather with friends having a bbq. It's so nice to have friends who also have kids - they keep each other busy! I made seven layer dip and left the bbqing to my boyfriend - he stayed up all night smoking a brisket!

Menu Plan Monday!!

Little moments

My little ones are always amazing me with something new or sweet.

Last week Carter pulled out a piece of twizzler out of his pocket and said "Here mommy, this is for you".
Dad told me that he had been saving it since the morning to give to me. It was truly sweet. I have a hard time saving candy myself so I could imagine it would take some good self control for a 3 year old to save it all day long.

And then there's this..

I heard Carter getting in trouble after bedtime hugs and when Dad came out I asked what was the matter and he tells me that he had said "Good night, Carter" and Carter says " Good night, f*cker" ...

Oh my goodness. Well, I couldn't help but think it was a wee bit hilarious partially because of shock and especially because he did not learn that word from me! We try our best not to drop f bombs or say words that we don't want him to but this is just crazy. Dad was much more mature and didn't laugh and scolded like he should have so hopefully no more f bombs from Carter.

Katelyn is growing up too and always testing her limits. I have to remind myself daily not to get too frustrated at her little independence and that it will serve her well in life. She just wants to do EVERYTHING her brother does. While this makes me proud when often she is able to- Sometimes, that's not so feasible. Saturday while we were going to Walmart - Carter informs me that he is a "grown up" and grown ups don't sit in shopping carts. True that. So Katelyn gives me the look and I'm like no way, Katelyn you are definitely getting into the cart. So after 5 minutes of attempting to put her in the cart in the middle of the parking lot while she cries and moves her legs every which way to avoid it.. I manage to buckle her in and move on my way. It was a successful shopping trip, and both of my helpers did a great job. Every single item we got (sans eggs and milk), Carter took from me, handed to Katelyn, and she chucked it in the cart. It was actually a fun assembly line :)