Wedding fever

 I have been helpign with my sister's wedding and even though it's super stressful sometimes, it is giving me wedding fever. Now I know why people choose to get married before kids, $$ and time.

All of my friends getting engaged gives me the fever.  I am SO happy for them. Genuinely. It just reminds me that I'm not married. I don't know why I care so much. I love my last name, it will be a hard thing to give up. KJK. & back when I met my boyfriend, we decided we would get "fake married" because real marriage isn't that beneficial and I just wanted the wedding part. Well now that I realize the benefits, mostly health insurance and the rights to own half my stuff are involved, I'm much more apt to be legally  married. Mostly just for the wedding day though.

But my pity party continues, I like the idea of being engaged. I want it to be romantic and I want to have a wedding to celebrate our love with my little girl as our flower girl and our big tall boy as the ring bearer. I just don't want to spend any money on it.

I sent my boyfriend an engagement ring from Craigslist and he called me all up in arms because I previously told him used rings were curses. I really just meant that I didn't want his best friend to buy HIS old wedding ring and it was cursed. Instead of relaying that message at all, I just secretly cried to myself. I know it's so pathetic, I try not to be this shallow or sensitive. My boyfriend would give me a ring tomorrow if I would have wanted one from KMART. There are priorities in life and that's why spending $1,000 on a ring doesn't seem justifiable when you are just trying to make it.

But if I get married, it's going to be forever. I want a ring that is going to stay on my finger forever.